Yesterday, about 30 minutes before school let out, it began to snow. It was quite the flurry, but it wasn't really sticking, so really it shouldn't have been a problem. So last night, the district decided to close up shop for the weekend and now nobody's in school. I'm not complaining, I just think it's funny because the weather's not bad at all. Evidence: the picture below. You see that tiny bit of snow on the shrub and the bumper of the car? Yep, that's what prompted a snow day.
On a more serious and ridiculous note, I verbally reamed one of my classes on Tuesday. We were reading through a short story and I could barely get a word in without being interrupted by TB, one of my worst offenders. There are a few kids that laugh at everything he does, even though they complain about how loud and annoying he is once he's gone...doesn't make sense. So, finally, I kinda lost it. I dropped the story and called them out.
Me: "Who thinks T is funny?"
Five kids raised their hands.
Me: "Who thinks what T does is funny?"
Same five kids raise their hands.
Me: "Well, I don't. I don't think it's funny that B (one of my well-behaved students) is getting screwed out of a proper education because T can't shut his mouth. But you know what I do think is funny? I think minimum wage is funny. I think it's really funny that some people can't make enough money to pay their bills. Now, that's funny. You know what else is funny? People that work at McDonald's. I laugh in the face of the person that gives me my food because I know that he can't pay his rent every month."
We had been studying irony and figurative language, so I employed a bit in my rant -- I'm pretty sure it went right over their heads.
"I think it's hilarious that some of my students will get their driver's licenses in two years, yet can't read well enough to understand the street signs. I think it's hilarious that one of you might not understand what S-T-O-P spells, so you run the stop sign going 50 miles per hour and kill someone in the other car. Now that's funny."
Their minds were, at this point, blown and they were all trying to comprehend what I was saying. "Is this guy serious?"
"You know what really gets me laughing? Knowing that, unless you change in the very near future, your kids will be as poor as you are now and will be attending this same school because you never made anything of your lives. That's pretty funny to me."
I really was trying to be as hyperbolic and sarcastic as possible to get my point across. I didn't mean any of it, obviously, but I felt as if they needed someone to tell them what the consequences could be if they don't get their acts together. They were stunned that I was saying this all to them. I did it for effect and it definitely had its effect.
The next day, they didn't dare cross me. They were very well-behaved.
Win.
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