Mr. Lowe, Your Wife's Too Hot for You

I'm very protective of my Facebook account because I don't want my students to find me. Conveniently - it started out as a joke my freshman year of college - I have a "The" in front of my real name, so when my students search for me, there are hundreds of people in front of me.

But someone found me.

Last week, a student came up and said so nonchalantly, "That's the shirt you wore in your Facebook pic with your wife." I tried to play it off, but they found me. Well, apparently that started a firestorm of kids looking at what little information is provided on my private account. So today, as I'm leading them to lunch, the conversation occurs.

TW: "Mr. Lowe, your wife's fine! Miss Utah 2009!"

(My wife competed competed in Miss Utah in 2008 before we were married)

Me: "What are you talking about?"

TW: "I googled your wife. She's pretty hot, but I guess she'd have to be in order to be Miss Utah."

Me: "How did you even find out her name?"

TW: "I have my ways."

EW (one of my favorites, she said it in the most innocent way): "Yeah, I looked, too. She's very pretty, Mr. Lowe, how did she end up with you?"

I got owned by a 14-year-old girl.

Me: "I went to college. College does wonders. My wife's beauty quotient is infinitely higher once I got my degree. Take a hint."

It still stings.