Fighting the bull

There is a girl in one of my classes that only comes about 1-2 times per week on average. She is very defiant of any authority and she is difficult to work with when she does actually come. I just flat out didn't like her. She never comes to class, but somehow she scored a 100% on my unit test. I know she didn't cheat, I watched her like a hawk because, at that point, I wouldn't have put cheating past her. She is a very smart girl that just doesn't want to behave or, for that matter, even come to school.

She got a 10-day suspension three weeks ago for fighting, so last Monday was her first day back. I was dreading it. It's not that I didn't want her to come back, I just hated that I hated her. I didn't want her to come and have bad feelings toward her because I felt like I wasn't being a good teacher. If she didn't come back, I wouldn't have to confront those feelings.

She came back.

I prayed silently for patience with this girl, M. I saw her coming down the hall and the dislike was coming up in me. She walked past me to the bathroom, then came out and was about to pass me. I realized then that I had to be the one that changed. I said, "Hey M, how was your weekend?" She smiled. It was the first time that I had seen her smile. She responded, "It was good, I didn't really do anything." I then told her that I was glad she was back and couldn't wait to have her in my class later that day.

Since then, she has been wonderful. She came every day last week, took notes, raised her hand and participated on her own. She was a different person.

On Wednesday, I found one of my students with a phone so, per school policy, I took it from her. She then wrote a note to M and they went back and forth until I took the note from them. It read:

CB: "Hay! Hw yah doin!"

MH: "Good and u?

CB: "Fine and bored, Imma b gud so i kan try tah get tha phone bak."

MH: "He's good like dat, lol, he will give it back."

CB: "I kno! I luv him (az a teacher!) datz wat up"

MH: "Hez kinda cool! lol

CB: "Kinda! He iz! He colorful, but yu kno I dnt want my brutha 2 distrust me!"

CB was one of my worst behaved students at the beginning of the year, but we were able to have a breakthrough and now she is in the palm of my hand. She behaves very well and if she has a problem, she comes to me like an adult and tries to solve it without freaking out. The other teachers have noticed a significant change in her. Now MH was coming around. The girl that I had previously loathed was now say that I am cool.

Yeah, it's just a couple of lines. Yeah, it might seem stupid. But I was able to meet her halfway and now we can have a great relationship and she can truly shine. If she can get a 100% with behavior problems and never showing up, imagine what she can do now that she's coming and wants to participate.