Monday, November 21, 2011

Angst on Thanksgiving Break Eve

Those who know me best know that I am a seasoned veteran in all things sarcastic. I've worked very hard to become the witty, smart-alec that I am, but it has proven very difficult to suppress that part of my personality when a student deserves that sarcasm the most.

In that today is Thanksgiving Break Eve, I just wasn't gonna let anything get to me. Then MS happened to me after lunch.

Me: "M, where are you supposed to be?"

MS: "I'm going to class."

Me: "Where exactly is that class? Because the bell rang 14 minutes ago and you should be in the class, not going to it."

Then MS blew his lid.

MS: "I HAVE TO GO TO GYM!"

But it's Thanksgiving Break Eve, so I kept my cool.

Me: "Why are you shouting? I'm not yelling at you, so why are you yelling at me?"

MS: "I'M NOT YELLING! WHY DO YOU CARE?!"

Me: "Look, it's almost Thanksgiving Break, so if you want to ruin your day, then ruin it, but don't drag me into your misery."

MS: "I HAVE TO GO TO GYM! THEY WON'T LET US IN!"

That last comment made absolute no sense to anybody, but he had pushed me too far. I raised myself up to my full 6'4 frame (he's about 5'10) and got right in his face. I then began to raise my voice, telling him that if he wants to yell, I can yell. So I yelled.

Me (post-yelling): "Get into my classroom, we've got some things to fix before you go anywhere else."

MS: "I'M NOT GOING! I HAVE TO GO TO GYM!"

Me: "Get into my classroom, but don't you dare disrupt my class."

He came in, yelled and hollered some more, then slammed himself into a seat and stared at the class.

And then came out the sarcasm.

Me: "M, turn around, nobody wants to see your face. Stare at the whiteboard."

More shouting on his part.

The assistant principal, who definitely does not shy from discipline, pops his head in laughing because he heard what I had just said and asks if he can help. I let him know that I've got it handled. MS starts shouting again.

Assistant Principal: "Little guy, you better make Mr. Lowe your best friend because he's the only thing that stands between you and me. If he gives me the go-ahead, we'll go down to my office and you'll be out of here - not for today, not for tomorrow, not for Thanksgiving. For forever. We'll send you to Treadwell and they LOVE kids like you because you're fresh meat, raw meat. And I'm more than happy to dangle you above their cage. So you better get Mr. Lowe on your side because it's rough on my side."

My whole class was freaked out. At that point, the AP leaves and I think he's gone. MS shouts "I NEED TO GO TO GYM!" With every syllable, he slams his hand on his knee really hard. I've calmed down because, again, it's Thanksgiving Break Eve.

Me: "M, you shouldn't hit your knee like that, it's just not nice, your knee doesn't deserve it."

The class explodes in laughter. I'm so far past done with this kid that I didn't hold back.

Me: "Class, are we laughing with him or at him?"

Class, in unison: "AT HIM!"

Once the classroom dies down, I hear the assistant principal laughing at my door. I thought he had left, but he had been there the whole time and heard my question to the class.

Success. The kid spent the next 2.5 hours in my classroom doing write-offs.

It's Thanksgiving Break Eve and nobody's getting in the way of that.

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